Denial

Such a hard month. One year ago this was the last month of your life. Who knew? You struggled so much. I felt so helpless. How is it possible you're gone? How is it even possible?  God, if he exists is so very cruel. He wants mothers to live by faith when her takes our children. I don't understand how that makes me stronger. I lived by faith my whole life. Not now. Not with this. This sucks. My precious pearl was taken. My son is gone from me. I will not live by faith.  His plan sucks. How to get out of this abyss. It can't be happening.