God delivers, Sufyan-not so much

So Elijah, tonight was the night we came to the Red Rock Amphitheatre for Sufyan's Carrie and Lowell Tour.  I was set to feel your presence as he sang his songs of mourning. I wanted to hear him sing "Drawn to the Blood" so I could really feel the depth of my soul in a hopeful connection to you. As we hiked up to the Venue, storm clouds sprinkled lightly on us bringing wonderful relief from the heat. Looking ahead of us once again, like on our walk to your memorial, in the sky was the most beautiful double rainbow.  As we sat listening to the last of the warm up band, the clouds parted revealing a bright full moon. The rainbow, the red rocks, the full moon, a wonderful start to connect with your spirit through the soft heartfelt music of Sufyan. But alas, it wasn't to be. You see he has had a long time to mourn. He needs to feel alive again. He was so thankful he was breathing. So the concert became alive and rocking. It was too soon for me Elijah. I'm not ready to rock out. I'm not ready to sing and shout. I only want to hold you in my heart and in my arms. I want to feel the warmth of your embrace, touch your face, make you well. Ben and Dad say you would have loved the concert. I'm sure you would. Me, I'm grateful for the rainbow, the full moon, the cool breezes, and      thoughts of you, but of concerts rocking out, it's too soon.