Beach Time

Waves. That's my life now. Elijah sings, "If you feel the size of the ocean's tide know you will survive; don't let go." I know these words intimately because of him. My mind, emotions, abilities flow in and out. The tides create waves. That's the way grief is. It goes in and out; and comes in waves. I know I will survive but... surviving and enjoying the blessings of life are two different things. Elijah said, "It's the memories you make and the moments you save that guides us through this new age." Man, is that ever true. I hold onto those memories and moments. I play his music everyday. I am surrounded by his pictures. I don't know if that's a good thing, but I do know I love to see him and hear his beautiful voice. I spoke with a coworker who lost a grown child 6 years ago. He said they still haven't gotten past it. They will go to do things and end up saying they can't believe their child is not going to be there. He had a hard time talking about it. This is six years into it. For me it still feels like one long day Elijah hasn't been here. The times and seasons are so different. Sun rises and sun sets....what do they mean now? Ben put Elijah's ashes in the Gulf of Mexico today. He's in all these wonderful places yet never escapes my heart. I'm wondering what beach time will be like? Waves everywhere I suppose.