Miss you like crazy

Wish I could just spill my heart out.  Wish I knew whether you still exist or not.  Dad doesn't think life goes on.  He thinks it's easier to believe this is all we get.  I don't want to give up on the thought that we go on and I'll see you again but I have no evidence.  Just this empty heart.  I'm afraid I'm a doubting Thomas.  I won't believe unless I see and I want to see so badly.  I'm probably one of the most wanting to have faith faithless people on the earth right now.  I know living Elijah, but I don't know dying.  I miss you so much it hurts every single day.